Quotes to fuel midterm week

I have 4 midterm tests this week. If you're in a similar boat, here are some quotes from my friends.
If these can't brighten your outlook, I don't know what can. Enjoy.

• "You can be dead. I'm gonna cry on you." 
• "Curling irons are gay."
• "Kittens are prettier than Jesus." 
• "Just your average ripped pregnant lady."
• "Shh, I'm trying to learn about killing people!"
• Walks into class "Oh good, we're summoning the devil!"
• "Not everyone needs pants all the time."
• "Can we get our drugs out after the test?"
• "He looks like a really gay McDonald's worker."
• "I may not look like a banana on the inside, but I sure do on the outside!"
• "That's not an insult! Bill Nye is gay!" 
• "The police are afraid of me." - my French teacher (you get context for that one because it's not as funny otherwise.)
• "Guys, you're both ugly. Wait, I meant they're! Please don't hate me."
• "If someone asks you to do something and you can't do it, just lay on the floor."
• "McDonald's may or may not have a vampire working for them." 
• "You murder small stuffed animals by force feeding them kale?"
• "Your mom's a bootleg Disney movie."
• "We can feed him raw fish and not be arrested."
• "I'm going to eat a homeowner."
• "No, I found him on the floor. His name is Rob."
• Whispers "I killed your husband."
• "I don't know how necromancy works under constitutional law."

Man, I really wish I could remember what some of these were from. I wrote them down without context.
Good luck on your midterms and stuff. I'm going back to studying.

(And to anyone who was expecting only poetic things from this blog, note that I said "unfiltered.")